I have always loved you and I always will.
No matter how many bodies I touch and how many hearts I steal. Because you cannot go against the truth when its buried deep inside yourself. You can’t deny what you feel when its begging to come out and be free.
Because you’re the one I write for. Nobody else, ever again. It’s been a long time since I wrote something in here, it’s true. You haven’t been in my mind very often, but today and tonight I find myself listening to those songs once you told me I should listen to… And I discovered the magic itself, in every word. And I discovered I may still love you after all this time. But I don’t want to keep writing about you anymore, I don’t. I already cried more than a thousand tears for you and I thought maybe this 2013 would be different… I thought I would never reach the 200 posts but now here I am. Lot of things happened, lot of things that I never wrote about and I never will. I don’t really know if there’s many people that reads my blog, it is just a place to express what I think and feel and get to know myself better when I read what I wrote a couple of days after.
I havent been taking my pills lately but I think now it really shows. We’re not okay as we used to be. We’re not and I miss you… You told me “I had the chance”, but I screamed to you over the phone and said NO, I DIDN’T. I want my fucking chance… I really do.